Without any further ado, let's just jump right into today's topic.
PREFACE This post actually took an emotional toll on me that I wasn't expecting, so please take into mind that I'm pouring out a serving of my soul before you email or post anything too hurtful. I am putting myself out there more than I'm actually comfortable with on this one, ladies and gentlemen.
The Divorce
First off I want to say my relationship with my ex-wife wasn't all for not. I have three beautiful daughters as a result, and I would endure the troubles and pain a thousand times over for them. The question I get asked the most about my divorce is “What happened?” Well, a lot did. People also like to place blame. There was enough blame to go around in our case. She was never the loving, caring partner I wanted and needed her to be. I had internal (and external) struggles that were, admittedly, my own fault. There was no support to speak of at home. Eventually she just had enough. I get it. This isn't to say she didn't have faults, they were, as mine, many. While married, I overlooked everything because she was, after all, my wife and the person I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with. The thing that hurt me more than anything though was the way things went at the end of our time together. Through all the denials and lies, infidelity did happen. We all know how I feel about that. What makes it worse is that in a small town, news travels fast. My girls have to deal with the comments and cruelty of children (and some adults).
Things should have been handled differently for sure.
I make mistakes, and I will continue to, but not as many and not the same ones again.
Meeting New People\Dating
Since the divorce, I've had a few relationships. I've talked to a lot of ladies. I was given some advice, "If she's not talking to you, she's talking to someone else." Horrible advice. If she is that fickle, good, talk to someone else, it's her loss, obviously not mine. As I said, I've had a several girlfriends, nothing solid. In a couple of cases, I was really the only one in the relationship, and after years of that, I just don't want anything like that anymore. In the end, was it my fault the relationship didn't work out? I don't know. Maybe that's a good enough reason to stay single.
Were there mutual breakups? Sure. What that usually means though, is that one person wants out and the other is the bigger person and lets them pursue their interests in someone else whom they think will make them happy\happier (but eventually it fails) because they care more about that other person than they do themselves. You can see who lost more in that situation and they will never even know.
The Future
If I had my way, sure there would be a Mrs. Riggs in the future, but I just can't see that happening at the moment. I'm not completely discounting the idea, but I want to be with someone who will put her phone away when I'm with her. In today's society, that's a sure sign she digs you. You know, someone that you think about when you go to sleep, and is on your mind when you wake up. Spending time with that person feels like a privilege that you can't live without. I'm not going to get into any more feelings, I'm drained.
The Moral
To quote poets Bill S. Preston, Esq. and 'Ted' Theodore Logan, Be excellent to each other. Seriously. Treat every person with the kindness that they do (or even don't) deserve.
