Still Learning

A few months ago I posted an entry called "I'm Still Learning," and I wanted to say that, that is still the case.  I find out bad things about myself, and I correct them as best as I can.  I find flaws in others and forgive them, as best as I can.  Actually to that point, I may have perfected that a little too well, and I may need to change that to "forgive and distance."  Anyhow, to the main point of this post, I wanted to give some more life lessons.  Keep in mind, some of these may be repeats, but there is obviously a reason they are being repeated, so pay attention.

Life Lessons (Again, without explanations):

• No one is perfect, if you think they are, they can only let you down.
• People will believe what they want to, often without hearing all sides.
• If your best isn't good enough for a person, then that person isn't good enough for you.
• Maintain your self-respect, walk away before you can't.
• A relationship should never be adversarial.  Your teammates, not opponents.
• Trust is built slowly, but broken quickly,
• Always pause to think before you do or say anything, consider all viewpoints.
• If someone doesn't show interest, then they are, well uninterested.
• Sometimes it is essential to tell people how you feel, so long as doing so doesn't hurt them unnecessarily.
• Sometimes if you know something about someone that they don't know you know, it's best to let them tell you in their own time, as long as it doesn't to do harm to either of you.
• You might need to hold your tongue from saying some things, and I mean literally.
• We as humans are inclined to form an opinion about someone before getting to know them, so we could end up loving or hating the idea of a person, rather than the person.  Either way, this way of thinking will affect our actual impression of the person.
• I joke around and always bring up Rule 13, that I am always right.  I'm not, in fact, I've been made shockingly aware that I am not right nearly as often as I thought.  I am imperfect, and I always will be, so using an absolute like "always" is meant as a joke.  Trust me, I'm right.
• Friends are a valuable commodity, one that over the years increases in value, invest in them.  Support them, believe in them, and encourage them.  In turn, they will do the same for you when you need it most.
• Sometimes juice companies use sweetened, colored, apple juice and market it as grape juice. Lies.
• If it's not pushing you forward, towards something better, then it's pulling you back, to where you don't want to be.  Change it.
• Don't live passively, be the most active part of your life.
• Don't let others make decisions for you, they don't have to live with the consequences.

I know, there's a lot, but there could have been a lot more.  I'll save those for another post another day.

Until next time, dear readers...

Real Talk

Some recent events in my life have made me wish I had a time machine. I just want to go back to past James, slap him in the face and tell him he needs to stop being stupid.

Anyone who knows me well will tell you that I always keep my word, I never lose my cool, I would do anything to help a friend, I’m incredibly loyal, and I care too much. Just so you know, I did not write this list, so please don’t think I’m that shallow. In the past few months (and maybe longer) I have acted out of character several times. This has hurt others, and myself. I can’t change what I’ve done, or it's impact, all I can do is keep reminding myself of the consequences of acting like an idiot.

During this time, I also came to the startling conclusion that if one person tells you something, it's possibly true, possibly not.  When two people tell you the same thing, it's more than likely true than not.  When you have three or more people telling you the same thing, you should probably listen.  The truth of the matter is that sometimes you see what you want to see, not what is actually there.  In my last post, I talked about inventories.  Well, I've did a huge inventory of myself recently, and I've discovered more about myself than I ever have.  I've found a lot of good things about myself, and I've found bad things about myself.  I'm working on those, and I'll be perfectly honest, it's going to be a struggle and take time on some of them.

Setting boundaries is key.  I have found that I have trouble setting boundaries with people.  You need to be honest with yourself and with them, let them know that you just won't do some things, not because you don't want to, but because once a boundary is crossed, it is much easier to cross it again. It's not a bad thing to help someone out, but don't change your boundaries in order to do so.

As I have been updating you on everything (which I've been told is too much, but, oh well), I'll go ahead and address the dating question.  I am not closed off to dating, but, as I'm sure you concluded, I didn't do so well with my recent try.  I am human, and I do make mistakes, and sometimes more than once.  I am (and always will be) in a constant state of personal growth, physically and mentally, and there have been people there at my worst, and stuck by me to hep me be my best.  I don't know where I'd be without them, and that's the type of person I'm looking for.  They are hard to find, but once I find that person, well, I'll be happy I guess is the easiest way to say it.  It's been said that when you find the once, "you'll just know."  That's wrong probably eight times out of ten.  Sure, I believe that some people just know, but they have to both "just know" before I'll believe it.  One sided relationships are far too common.  I think that I will only know if the person is right if she is by me through my struggles as well as my successes, and I'll have the same opportunity to do so for her.  Long story short, I guess I'm still looking.

I'll leave you with this, if you don't like what you see, don't blame the mirror.

Until next time dear readers...