Simple Relationship Advice

So, I get a lot of questions asking for advice in different aspects of relationships.  I don’t know why, I clearly am not a good example when it comes to ships, as in relationships.  However, I am learning. Here, in my famous format, is a list of tips for relationships.

1. Never stop winning your partner over, just because you landed the relationship, it doesn’t mean you need to stop that.
2. Learn.  Things may go good, or go bad, but learn, and admit your part and work on it.
3. Love yourself first.  You are an amazing person, and you need to realize that before you let anyone try to love you the way you need to be specifically loved.
4. Put your phone down.
5. Listen.  Don’t just hear what they are saying, but listen.
6. Sometimes people just need compassion, not guidance.
7. Treat every day as a new opportunity to express how your partner makes you feel.
8. Don’t avoid issues, deal with them.
9. Be completely honest, not just with your partner, but yourself. Especially yourself.
10. When in doubt, talk it out.
11. Never miss an opportunity to praise your partner, not just in public, but in private too.
12. Long lasting relationships are not two people needing each other.  They are two people who do NOT NEED one another, but choose every day that they WANT each other, and show their partner that at every opportunity.

There, that’s a good start.  I am by no means saying I’m proficient at any of these, but these are a few of the things I’ve learned that help relationships grow and stay strong.  If you feel you can’t do all of these, gladly and with pride, maybe it’s not the right relationship. There is no rule that says if you are in love with someone that they are the right person for you.  As someone who has had several failed attempts at relationships (including a failed marriage), let me tell you, sometimes your love for someone isn’t the same as their love for you. Feeling ashamed and embarrassed is not a part of a healthy, “right” relationship.

I can’t tell you if you are with the right person, and even if I did, what are the chances you would really listen?  As humans, we don’t like to admit we are ever wrong, because over the centuries being wrong has been associated with being a failure.  I’ve learned more about myself and about life in general by being wrong than I ever have by being right.  Being wrong has brought me to where I am in my life, and right now, I’m pretty happy.  I know that there is still a lot of work for me to do, but getting things wrong is how I will get there.  

Until next time, dear readers...