Reflecting

I have spent a lot of time reflecting lately.  You’ve probably noticed I haven’t posted in a while.  I have my reasons, but I do apologize for the short break.  There is so very much going on in my life at the moment, and it’s actually been difficult for me to sit down and write out anything.  I did however start working on a specific chapter of my book, which deals with AD, after divorce.  During my brain storming and mind mapping of the chapter, I realized that although I thought I had forgiven my ex-wife for the things she did, both during and after our divorce, I really had not forgiven anything.  Let me give you an example.  During our separation, she did everything to block me from getting into our home to get my things.  Even after a judge ordered her to let me in, she still did not.  In this process I lost more than $15,000 of personal property that was legally and morally mine.  I came to terms that I wouldn’t get my things, and in a sense I guess I thought that was my way of forgiving, but it was a facade.

I am still angry with her for, in my opinion, not doing the right thing and letting me have my property, but I have to accept that that is the way she is, and always was.  I have forgiven her at this point.  I am still a bit bitter about a lot of things that happened, but dwelling on them, and the past is only making my present and future depressing.  That means that I no longer expect her to act any way other than she always has.  I forgive her for blaming everyone but herself for any problems.  I understand that she can’t mentally handle being the bad guy.

Now, I’m not saying any of this to put her name in the mud, no, this story isn’t about her, it’s about me and it’s about you.  I know my situation with my ex-wife isn’t the worst one that someone could be in, but for my it was bad, and for me to finally figure out after 4 years that it isn’t about her, it’s about me.  Putting the past in the past isn’t easy sometimes, but for you to have a healthy, bright future, it is necessary. If I can do it, trust me you can too.

When they say forgiving someone is a gift, not for them, but for you, they are absolutely correct.

Until next time, dear readers...