It's times like these you really learn about yourself, and you also learn a lot (maybe too much) about others around you. It's at this time you realize how difficult forgiving people can be. I'm not saying it is impossible, in my opinion forgiveness is always possible and should be your first instinct, well maybe second instinct, the first should be to try to understand. The whole idea of forgiveness is for your own well being more than the person you are forgiving.
I've heard people say "I forgive, but I don't forget." That's unhealthy, and a huge contradiction in the overall process. If I forgave you for something, but never forgot, I would always be thinking about what you did to me, which means I haven't really forgiven anything and would eventually become resentful to you without you even knowing or doing any other wrongs to me. In essence I would be setting myself up to hate you later if I wasn't truly sincere when I forgave you. I know that's a hot topic, but ultimately you can't be a better person if you are always wondering when that person will hurt you again, as a matter of fact - false forgiveness will make you more cynical than anything anyone else could have done to you, and all of your relationships with people afterward will suffer. By not really forgiving someone and explaining to them what you have did and why, you give them permission to continue as if they didn't do anything wrong. If they say they won't wrong you again and are sincere, you have to make that determination if you want to believe them or not, but don't tell them you've forgiven them when in your heart you know you can't forget it as well. Do people deserve second chances? Absolutely. I believe that in certain circumstances people even deserve thirds, fourths, fifths, etc. If all depends on how important that person is to you and their impact on your life. You have to think about not only their impact of your life, but your impact on theirs. I have a picture that sums up my feelings on this:
Life if short. You will make good decisions, bad decisions and ones that you think are one but turn out to be the other. I'm not saying that you should forgive every person in your life for every misguided thing they may have done to you, but I am saying that if you do truly forgive them, you will both be better for it.
Sorry to get all philosophical on you, but I thought that if I shared what I've learned I might be able to make someone else's life a bit easier.
On a different note, I have to have surgery. I injured my shoulder about a month ago and after a few tries at fixing it without surgery, my doctor has stated that I can only get fixed up with a trip to the operating table. It looks like the seal around my left shoulder socket has been damaged and he will have to go in and find the problem and fix it up. That's cool. Not really, I hate surgery and the idea of being put under anesthesia. I had a bad reaction to the anesthesia that was used when I had my gall bladder removed and it's haunted me ever since. I'm sure I'll be fine, but still - I worry, it's what I do.
I have several video projects I am currently working on, I've finished another chapter in my Science Fiction novella, and also I'm planning the trip to the Texas Renaissance Festival for the girls and me. Lots of fun stuff to happen that weekend, plus it's pirate weekend there! Arrr?
Until next time, dear reader.
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